Is that all there is? If that's all there is, my friends, then let's keep dancing . . . Ironically enough, a great deal of comfort can be derived from embracing the concept of existentialism. Once one has accepted one's gloomy fate head-on, one can get about with the business of enjoying Peggy Lee songs and wallowing in emptiness and despair. So much more practical than wasting countless hours in the fruitless pursuit of inner peace. Of course, this means one must put these precious hours to good use. If one is not sitting catatonic in front of a window looking out upon the grey landscape or lying comatose upon the bed, one can fill the hours of the day with many other occupations, such as cataloguing a list of personal phobias, contemplating the ruin of society, muttering a litany of life's absurdities or indulging in literature or films designed to reinforce one's feeling of quiet desperation. Below are a few short examples to set you on your way.

USEFUL PHOBIAS geliophobia - fear of laughter teleophobia - fear of definite plans telephonophobia - fear of telephones apeirophobia - fear of infinity cherophobia - fear of gaiety seplophobia - fear of decaying matter hagiophobia - fear of saints or holy things deipnophobia- fear of dinner conversations ataxophobia - fear of disorder or untidiness heliophobia - fear of the sun panphobia - fear of everything

DIRECT CAUSES OF SOCIETY'S DEMISE cell phone call waiting Fox News Bill O'Reilly Lou Dobbs leaf blower car alarm remote control laugh track Celine Dion non-dairy creamer pop-up ads Nancy Grace

BEDTIME AUTHORS - READ THEM & WEEP Jean-Paul Sartre Albert Camus Franz Kafka Fyodor Dostoyevsky Friedrich Nietzsche

FILMS - UNHAPPILY EVER AFTER Days of Wine and Roses Testament The Deer Hunter Leaving Las Vegas Boys Don't Cry The Day of the Locust Breaking the Waves

Those looking for an antidote can clear their palates by returning to splendid.

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